A recent sporting event reminded me why comparing our seasons of waiting against others can often rob us of compassion and connection, and ultimately can rob us of Living in the Wait.
Lessons from a National Championship Football Game
I recently went to the FCS National Championship Football Game where my favorite team, the South Dakota State University Jackrabbits played and won!
After the game, I found myself thinking about the players. From the press before and after the season, it was clear this was something they’ve been dreaming, training, practicing and waiting for long before the season started. Many of them have waited years for this opportunity. Playing in this game clearly was important and a big deal to them.
Imma get a bit vulnerable and share that I found myself thinking of how trivial of a wait this was as I compared it to the recent waits I’m navigating.
Yes, I’m barring my soul to you when I say that waiting to play in a football game compared to waiting for a house, a baby, spouse or healing just seemed silly to me.
Big gulps…
This way of thinking totally invalidated these players and what they consider important to them. Let’s be honest, who am I to decide what’s valuable or not to a person? I caught myself comparing their wait and its level of difficulty to mine and was reminded of some very important and humbling truths when it comes to comparison and waiting.
3 Humbling Truths About Comparison and Waiting
1. Part of the story
- We only see a snapshot of a person’s life whether it’s from something they share online or what they tell to us directly.
- I guarantee there’s WAY more going on behind the scenes we have no idea about. Most likely lots of fear, doubt, pain, suffering, advocacy and uncertainty. Things many of us in the wait experience, regardless of what we’re waiting for.
2. Waiting is a universal experience
- It’s so easy to compare the waits of others with ours and rank their difficulty.
- We’re human and often compare ourselves to others thinking our request is insignificant or not as bad as what someone else is going through. This shuts down our ability to be open to what God can do in and through our lives.
- But know this, God doesn’t compare what you’re experiencing to someone else. He doesn’t use the same measuring stick we use to decide if He should give your request attention.
- There’s no hierarchy in waiting, it’s universal. And most importantly…
3. The worst wait is yours
- Whatever wait you’re navigating is hard, because it’s something that you personally are walking through.
- Regardless of what you’re waiting for, it matters.
What Comparison Can Rob Us Of
Now, each wait brings its own set of circumstances and difficulties. Giving it all the more reason NOT to compare. Does waiting for something for one month feel different than waiting for something for 10 years? Yes, the truth is the longer you wait for something the harder it can feel because it requires more perseverance.
It’s so easy to compare our circumstances with others, but I’m not really sure what the goal is when we do. Is it to validate how difficult our situation is? Is it to make ourselves feel better? Is it to harden our hearts so we can disconnect and/or give us a reason to create a grudge?
The truth is, comparison robs us of compassion and connection with others. It robs us of Living in the Wait because we’re so busy focusing on who has it worse.
I don’t have a magic formula or filter you can put over your brain or heart to stop comparison. We’re human and it happens, in all areas and aspects of our lives. The more we realize that waiting is something we all experience – and it’s difficult no matter the theme or topic of the wait nor how long it lasts – the more compassion, empathy and connection we’ll have with others and ourselves.
All this to say, whatever you’re waiting for – a chance to play in a national championship, a family, job, healing or financial freedom – it’s all difficult because it’s yours.
How do you handle waiting and comparison?
Please share with someone you know who could use some encouragement in the wait.